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6/26/2006 Ebbing & Flowing... It all started on the 3rd November 2005. Then I hadn't even dreamt how all that would end up. I wanted to write lots about the time in between but I haven't been able to. I should say I lived the most difficult part of my life till date. Now I have to face tougher times in the future.
Actually I want to write much about my dad but I'm not being able to get the words. There's alot more. I miss him no doubt but I know I have to go on with life. He left teaching me lot and changing me forever. I'm not the same person I was before all this happened. I thank my Father for all this he taught me. He's made me realise the love between a parent and child. I was anaware of it before. Now I know that it is the deepest and purest emotion and relation I had and I have. He did give me a chance to serve him before he left. Now that he isn't here I wish I could do more for him. I still can in other ways. I dedicate my everything to him. I will do something which will make him proud.
I know father that I have hurt you quite a few times we were together and we have had disagreements. There has been hatred but at the base of it all there has been love. There have been places where you haven't been perfect and others where you were great. But no one is a perfect person. But I know you were good. You've always been a good human being. Everytime people speak highly of you as a Doctor and as a person I feel proud. I hope and I know I will have all your good qualities in me. Give me strength to live without you, to live for Mother, to live for myself and to live for the world. To live with your memories and the photographs that I took.
I can't be talking of love dear
I can't be talking of love
If there'd be one thing I can't talk of
That one thing do be love
But that's not saying I'm not loving
Still water you know runs deep
And I'd be loving you so deep dear
I'd be loving you in my sleep
(-Esther Matthews)
प्रतीक घाटग॓
5/22/2006 I'm Byack. Life's a Bumpyee Ride.So.....
I'm back. It's been a long time but I didn't even realise how all these days just flew by. It was a big episode in my life leaving behind a huge impression on me. Teaching me things, teaching me Life. I've come out better than before.
Gave the CET on Sunday. It was pretty good. Better than my last attempt but there's one thing I'll avoid - Any analysis or expectations of the futere and the results. I did my job now I don't think about it till I get the decision. When I finally know what I've got I'll just accept things the way they will be and moveon with life. I'm sure I'll succeed, not just in respect of this particular step but in life as a whole. Hope.
I've been wanting to write a lotta things all these days I was away. Dunno if I'll be able to write everything but I'll write if I can.
Yes. I wanna thank all of you for Praying for me and encouraging me -
Prathamesh, Priyanka, Mudit, Rahul K, Rolins, Ankit, Anirudhha, Saurabh, Yugal, Dr. Abhijeet and Tina Khandare, Dr. Sachin Chavan, Dr. Kiran Salunkhe, Dr. Abhijeet Bagade and other friends.
My Mother & Father
Thank You!
प्रतीक 3/24/2006 MeDear Diary, Long time.......Long time since back then. Really long. Lot's of things trapped up. Lots of things burning inside me. Lots of changes. A big experience. Lots of things waiting to be written but I feel helpless. I can't do it all right now. I'm angry, furious, sad, broken, strong, frustrated, hopeful, helpless, confident. I want to write, shout out, reach out. There's hope I'm clinging on to. And I hope I'll return with all this. I don't really know if I will be able to express everything, describe all these days exactly but let's see what I can do. I will return. Stronger. Changed. Charged up. Let's hope so. I hope I'll do good this time. I'll pass through. Actually there's nothing else I can do. I have to sail through these times. I don't know if I should curse my life or thank god for this enriching experience. C'est la vie. Life's like that. Life is tough. It ebbs & it flows. It's been really long time... -Ishan.G
P.S. I shall come back. Better. "What doesn't break you makes you stronger."
10/26/2005 Changes... The last few days were quite good. I've been studying according to the new schedule I'd made up so that no subject will be neglected and everything will go on fine. Last week I got my hair cut, quite small, but that's how I usually cut it before. I hadn't been to the barber for about 10 months. It felt very weird I must say. Now I've realized how much effort girls have to put into maintenance of their long hair. It's a very tough job indeed. I don't know what way I looked better but for me it's the change that matters. Now what? I'm studying nowadays what else. Divali is around the corner and i am awaiting the sweets, the spirit and the joy. But along with all this come Pollution which sucks real bad and makes me hate Divali. Divali nowadays has been reduced to shit in terms of firecrackers. Otherwise the lights, the celebration, the joy and the festive spirit is all too good. This time too I'll be going on with my effort to make Divali better. Which means I'll not be bursting noisy crackers and just in case I do burst which is rare I'll go for the light ones. This time I also have another thing to do - To Photograph the Fireworks. The fancy ones against the black sky. I hope i do get some good colorful and exciting photos.
Anyway until then I've got some other pics of mine I'm uploading. May seem I'm self Obsessed but I don't have anyone else to shoot and who doesn't want to be photographed?? Look at them only if you wish to..... I've just done some experimenting. I'm still not some pro shutterbug so don't expect those photos you see in ads and fashion mags. Gotta go a long way for them. If in case you do have some feedback on these lemme know.
Happy Divali. Celebrate a better Divali. do we need so much of smoke and noise during Divali?? 10/20/2005 Ohhh... Oh what did I hope and what it turned out to be!! Yesterday was all wrong. My cough and cold worsened and I suffered from a very bad fever on top of that. Spent the whole day lying on the bed. I'm feeling much better today. Gotta get back to working as well. Talked to a friend o mine after a long gap and the ppl are rocking man!! Good good now don't make me more jealous. Anyway I guess I'll do some "Spaces Surfing" and listen to some music now. 10/18/2005 Not so good....The day wasn't very well. I'm down with a very bad cough and cold and it's killing me. I woke up in the morn with a very bad pain in my throat all jammed up. Anyway not much of an improvement at the end of the day either. Studied a bit 'cause the cold has just caught me up. Maybe I wake up to normalcy tomorrow morn. I gotta work hard tomorrow for sure. And by the way I saw Godfather on HBO today. Just like the book. Obviously!!
-Ishan.G 10/14/2005 How are you at writing mails??
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